my spring thaw

It’s been a month since G Day – a month of radical transformation inside me that mirrors the rebirth that’s happening in my environment. Springtime in Toronto & I’m feeling fresh and ready to pollinate some ideas.

Is spring the cause of my internal transformation or just a convenient metaphor?

The warm weather and the fresh buds and flowers bursting out everywhere have increased my wellness exponentially. Spring got all the frozen things inside me flowing, but I also have to give myself credit for not damming them up.

I won’t go into detail about my state of mind/heart/body (too soon, ouch), but it was low on all levels. I was depleted, depressed, and emotionally exhausted to the point of physical illness.

As the Community Leader and MC of G Day for Girls Toronto, I pulled my empty tank of a person into the station and demanded, “Fill ‘er up.”

I was filled up when Madeleine, the creator of G Day, dubbed me “Beautiful Heart.”

I was filled up by the moments of pure glee as I groove danced with 100 girls.

I was filled up when I saw my grandfather wiping away a tear as I gave my opening remarks.

I was filled up by the mom who emailed to tell me her daughter cried when she put her to bed because she didn’t want the day to be over.

I was filled up when I read my name in print in the front section of a national newspaper celebrating the event.

This was on April 26. The trees were still bare; jackets were still mandatory attire. A month later, sultry vines weave their way up chain-link fences to feed on sunshine. I cover myself in sunscreen rather than in layers.

I go for more walks with less purpose.

I smell flowers like they’re going out of style. I bring them into my home in colourful arrangements so I can smell them while I sleep. And I put a million flower photos on instagram.

Every single morning I step onto my patio to have a little stretch and see how my green babies fared overnight.

I do more yoga – even at home.

I dance all the freaking time, and I can’t get enough of huge arm movements, leaps, and back extensions.

I wear more colour and bigger earrings.

The thaw extends to my interactions with people. My heart feels warmer, softer, more open to connection. This means that I’m getting better at networking. Since G Day I’ve been to two conferences – the Girls Action Foundation and the Social for Good conference. I’ve gone to talks and events alone, and rather than running for the door as soon as they’re done, I’ve been able to stick around and chat.

I’ve made new friends and, as I sit here in a cafe waiting to go ecstatic dancing with someone I’ve never met, I sense that another is on his way right now. (He told me to look for someone who looks and sings like Cat Stevens – I’m already on the peace train).

I joined the Centre for Social innovation, a dynamic co-working space for world changers – and I feel confident classifying myself as one of them because of the good work I am doing to celebrate and empower girls and women.

I hug people in professional contexts. And they hug me back.

I say no to people when their agenda doesn’t serve me.

People seem to be noticing the change – they say I’m radiant. And I say, f*ck yes, I feel radiant. I’m radiant because the energy of this Toronto spring is flowing through me and beaming out into the world. And I’m radiant because I am wildly, boldly, open heartedly letting it.

Thank you lilacs, thank you G Day, thank you dancing – and thank you to each and every person who has supported and witnessed my rebirth this spring.